Why I Blog

About four years ago now I started a blog called “Dani’s Anatomy.” I remember setting up the template and staring at a blank screen for hours, unsure of what to write. Originally inspired by my best friends blog about working in the ED, I too, wanted to share the stories from my job and my life. I just had no idea where to start.

Finally, realizing that it didn’t matter, that I had no readers anyways, I took the plunge and posted that first post.

Everything after that came easy. It became therapeutic. I followed all of the HIPAA laws, protected privacy, and gained followers as time went by. Things became fun with work, because I was focused on making the best of my shift, making it one worth writing about. Before I knew it my blog was popular in the mediblog community, and I was getting invites to participate in podcasts, I had guest bloggers on my blog, things were going well.

I changed from blogger to wordpress, gained more followers. Changed layouts. Changed job positions. My blog posts got more personal, longer, more popular. Things were going well til they weren’t.

After awhile I quit blogging. I was sick and tired of it. Of the attitudes from other  bloggers. Of the stress of blogging. So I shut it all down. Blocked the URLs, deleted the blog posts, and password protected everything. I walked away without notice, I called it quits.

I tried to start again under the blog name “Cicatrix”. It is latin for “healing over a wound”, commonly known as scars. I blogged about my life, my job, but this time something even more raw and painful- my depression and my history with SI. The community I thought I had returned to did not accept this, and again, I quit blogging.

This last year I started again, in November. I started because I missed having a place to share my thoughts, emotions and stories. I missed having something to help me. I missed the therapy of being able to write. That’s who I am, it’s what I’ve always done. I’ve always been a writer, a blogger.

Now, I blog strictly for me. I post what I want, when I want to post it. I post about my life, my likes, my dislikes, my family. It’s my space, and I’m taking this space for me.

I blog for me.

Happy Valentines Day!

I’m not going to waste your time with some mushy-gushy love song lyrics.

I’m not going to post about my wonderful husband (I’ll save that for another day).

I’m not going to post a recipe or a DIY craft.

I’m just going to post a photo from my wedding.

Music Monday

We Had Our Baby!

Last blog post I wrote was an hour before all of the commotion of the past week. That was almost a week ago now. I am so thankful I blogged ahead in preparation for the baby so that the blog would not suffer.

Monday afternoon we went into the OB’s office. She took my BP and it was very high. The MA was worried it was her error, so  they did it twice. The doctor asked me about my headaches, if they were like my normal migraines. My hands and feet were more swollen than ever. Things were getting risky. She informed me she wanted to induce me as soon as possible.

We called the hospital and let them know I needed to come in. They informed me I was to go in that night and they’d begin the induction. We went home, grabbed our bags and went to the hospital. I was honestly terrified. We had hoped for a morning induction, for one last night just my husband and I to be at home, sleep in our own bed, go to dinner, but alas, we spent that last night checking into Labor and Delivery.

The nurse was fantastic and explained everything very well. As the night went on my blood pressure kept creeping up higher and higher. After the first dose of induction medication they found that nothing had happened. They started the second dose and we were back to waiting. It was about midnight and I knew I was in for a long adventure. The nurse offered me some pain meds for the contractions I was going to feel until I could get the epidural (I wanted to do naturally if baby came naturally, but if  I was going to be induced I wanted drugs.) I slept for two hours and then woke up in an incredible amount of pain.

The nurse offered me some more pain meds. I hate taking pain meds, I took Tramadol after my shoulder was operated on when the doctors offered me shots of demerol, morphine and lortabs. I HATE how I feel on pain meds and tried to fight it. After twenty minutes I  couldn’t do it anymore. The nurse checked again and I had doubled in dilation (1.5 cm to almost 4). They called anesthesia to come down for my epidural.

Then the anesthesiologist dropped a bomb on me. She was questioning whether she COULD do my epidural due to my Von Willenbrands (my blood doesn’t clot like it should) and my L1-L5 rupture. I literally was writhing in pain and refused to hold my husbands hands because I know I would hurt him. After we talked for awhile (more like her asking questions and me whimpering my answers) she decided she could do it after all. The nurse checked me again, in that thirty minute conversation I was at a 5. We had to get it in now.

I felt horrible while she was placing it, because I was contracting the whole time and wiggling and squirming. I tried not to, but my body wasn’t my own. My husband had to hold my shoulders and back down, while the nurse held my hands and tried to talk me through breathing during contractions. I wanted to cry because I was stressed and because I was scared. I knew I was in good hands, but felt so weak. I remember I kept apologizing, telling people “I’m so sorry I’m such a wimp. I know women have babies in corn fields with no meds all the time and here I am bitching.” They kept laughing at me and telling me I was fine, but I felt otherwise.

Epidural was in and things were okay for a little bit. When I found out the medication was bupivicane I was happier than ever. We work with it a lot at work and I was thankful it was a drug that I was familiar with, as well as have had before. I tried to rest, but before long my contractions were returning with a vengeance. The nurse discovered that the anestheiologist had been pulled into an emergency C-Section and hadn’t connected my epidural pump to me. She had to take the pump into the OR to program it and came running back to attach it to me. I didn’t mind, I just was thankful to have it attached again.

After a long phone call with my doctor the nurse decided I was progressing too fast and that they needed to get me an injection of a drug to slow the labor down. I didn’t quite understand it, but did understand one thing; they knew better and were far more clear minded than I was at this point. We had the same goal: healthy, happy baby, and safe, healthy mom. I agreed and they gave me the shot. At this point my BP was dropping due to the epidural (pain relief), and due to the medication, however, my pulse was now in the 140’s, matching my babys pulse. Again, they were worried.

Night shift was over and the nurses came in to do rounds. I met my day nurse who checked to see where I was at. She said I was at a 5 still and left me to rest. They put me on 15L of O2 and told me to try to relax. I did what I could, and after a little bit my mom and mother in law arrived for the morning. It was only 830 and I told them to go get something to eat. They refused and the nurse came in the check me again. In the last hour I was at a 10 and baby was ready to go, despite the meds to slow things down.

They paged my doctor and she hurried in from her office where she was doing the first visits of the day. She arrived at 930 and we started the delivery process. The only people in the room was my husband, doctor, nurse, student nurse and I. The mothers went out to the lobby and thirty minutes later we had them come back in to meet their new grandson.

Baby boy was born 6lbs, 12oz, 19in. He was healthy and very athletic- rolling over when they did his APGAR test! He has my nose and his dads mouth and chin (and lack of neck). He’s absolutely adorable and I am totally and completely smitten by this new little man in my life.

Since then he’s been well loved by as much family as can be around him. Aunts and Uncles have colds so many havent been able to see the little man yet and are sad. Others have been around every chance they can get (such as the grandmas who haven’t gone a day without seeing him).

He did get jaundiced, as winter babies do get, so he has been on a bilibed and tanning. I call him my little guido and in all honesty our lives have been pretty GTL, Gym; wrestling the little man during diaper changes, Tan, bilibed, Laundry, he’s a newborn, we go through onesies, mittens and socks like mad. We’ve had to go in daily for labs since the day he was born, a Von Willenbrand panel, CBC’s, bilirubin testing. We’re kind of sick of the doctors, but understand it is for a good reason we need to go in.

He’s perfect and I am in love. If someone would’ve told me that the mommy club was this awesome, I would’ve joined sooner. Lack of sleep and sanity be damned. 

 

Fashion must be in my Blood

Maybe it is just because my Grandma is an artist- but she is so totally fashionable! I found some photos from the 60’s-80’s with my family in it, and discovered that her fashion sense has always been fabulous! I was lucky enough to get copies of the slides (my grandpa is also an amazing photographer) and wanted to share them with you!

This first photo struck me as funny- this is my sense of style as well! Sport jacket, jeans and fun socks! I absolutely love that grandpa was able to capture this on photo!

This photo just stuns me. Not only am I totally in love with her outfit (a white, lacy top and the pink and white chevron skirt!), but that shes on the floor cleaning up just makes me smile. Also, the fact that grandpa thought that was photo-worthy made me smile.

I love this sweater. This whole photo had to have been planned, the perfection of the sweater, the colors, the background, it is all so perfect! I also love that this is such a calm photo- no evidence of the chaos I know my mother and aunt were causing for her.

This has to be one of my favorite photos EVER. I love all of their outfits, but the facial expressions of everyone fits their personalities so well! (Suzanne is like me, happy to sit on the sidelines and watch everyone else be silly.) Again, grandma and I are sharing style, (jeans and a t-shirt!). My mom’s red hair? I’ve been considering going that exact color for a while now. I may just do it soon!

Farrah Faucet hair! That mixed with the cute knitted vest and blouse is adorable! LOVE IT.

I adore this photo of my mom and my Aunt. This is from the early 80’s, but is so totally adorable. (I probably love it so much because this is who I see whenever I look at them!) There is an entire photo series that grandpa took of these, and this one is my favorite because we all know they were cracking jokes and laughing at grandpa, who is behind the lens.

Now for a lack of fashion sense. This is a Christmas morning photo. Everyone looks so cute- however, look at my Uncle in the right hand corner. I’m pretty damn sure he borrowed that robe from Huge Hefner. He is the fashion black sheep in our family.

Is your family full of fashionistas? Have fun photos to share?
If you post them send me a link- I love looking at old photos and of fantastic fashion!

Fabulous Things – Photos to Inspire

Sometimes you just need some pretty, fabulous things! Here are a few photos I found from Tumblr that are full of fantastic things!

How pretty is this office? The Pink and White (with the blue accents) rock!

Animal print nails - in hot pink!

Where can I find this mug?! I love it!

Heart shaped candies - I love it!

This makes me giggle.

 

10 Weird Things About Me

I LOVE lists (and according to all the great articles out there on gaining readership, you do too)!  I am a VERY unique person and figured that it would be fun to do a list about the 10 best things that make me unique!

  1. Believe it or not, I can lick my elbow. I’m sure you’ve read that it is physically impossible, however, I have a torn shoulder and can dislocate my shoulder, making it totally possible to cross my arm over my chest and lick my elbow.
  2. I can play the piano, however I cannot read sheet music. I learned how to do it by ear, making it even more fun to play, but very frustrating for everyone who tried to teach me how to play.
  3. Once upon a time I was a Girl Pro (Cruiser) BMXr. People don’t believe me most of the time- but that’s how I broke my hand, my collarbone and managed to tear the muscles in both my shoulders, making it possible to lick my elbow.
  4. I am freakishly good at first person shooter video games. Girls shouldn’t be as good as I am at games like Halo and MW3. This does get the attention (and lots of fan mail) from guys when I play online, but I only enjoy playing with my husband, so the fans can only do so much.
  5. My two best friends are my husband and my little brother. Both of whom go by the nickname “Bubba.” They both can quote movies like no one I have ever met and can make me laugh til I cry.
  6. I am one of the only people who can admit when something I like sucks. For example, my sports teams. I can admit when they suck, even though I hate it.
  7. I HATE taking medications. This drives my doctors nuts because they will write me a prescription and I refuse to take it, but I just don’t like taking them and if I can live without it, won’t do it.
  8. As “normal” of a life as I live, I am fascinated and adore the New Age lifestyle. I find it all quite fascinating and do lots of research on it in my spare time. This ties into my belief that I am my zodiac- I even have the Aries tattooed my hip.
  9. I’ve broken over 7 bones in my body without knowing it. Don’t even get me started on listing the muscles I’ve torn without knowing it. We discover these breaks years later, after they’ve healed when checking another issue (or preventative for work, a doctor ran over my foot with a gurney and I had to get an X-ray or my foot and discovered that I had broken 4 bones in my foot without knowing it!)
  10. I feel most comfortable in a black tee and jeans. No matter what, I love that look and will always fall back on it.

Things I Love Thursday

Fancy Nails!

These last few weeks I’ve had a very hard time with keeping my nails nice. Thanks to pregnancy I have these beautiful, strong nails, but keeping polish on them is the biggest issue. Makes sense that my Things I Love Thursday is dedicated to GORGEOUS nail polish!

Who can say no to sparkles- honestly?!

These are called “Holographic Nails”- aren’t they cool?!

Oh how I wish I could pull off this awesome look!

So pretty!

I’m not a huge fan of animal prints, but I LOVE this look!

What do you love this Thursday?

Secrets from my Pinterest Account:

I LOVE Pinterest. It is my favorite addiction. I absolutely love the concept of it, the organization and the plethora of ideas! I have tricks and tips on how to utilize my Pinterest account and I wanted to share one of my secrets with you.

See this pinboard? Hardly any of these recipes were picked out by me.
So how did you get there do you wonder?

Every few nights I hand over the laptop to my husband and ask him to browse the Food and Recipes area on Pinterest. He picks out the recipes he likes and “hearts” them. When he’s finished I go through the recipes he’s pinned, check them out and if they are possible in our kitchen I repin them onto my board.

Here’s why I do it. My husband is a VERY picky eater. Anything I’d pick he probably wouldn’t eat, so I let HIM pick what he wants and then go from there. I love this idea for the two of us, because then we avoid dinner time dramas.

Also- I have yet to try a recipe that we both didn’t like and that didn’t turn out wonderful.

So, if you ever need guy friendly recipes that work- check my recipe Pinboard. And if you have your spouse or the men in your life do the same let me know, I want to see what your men have pinned for us ladies!

Spring Trend Watch: Yellow

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